Healing
by hermin22
Summary: Minerva needs a special person to help her recover.
1. Chapter 1

**Healing**

"This was the best transfiguration lesson I ever had," Ron stated while leaving the classroom with Harry. "I really don't get why Hermione is making such a big deal out of it!"

"I guess she is worried about McGonagall. It is unusual for her to let some else teach her class." Harry was a bit concerned himself, but Professor Dumbledore's teaching was too hilarious to wish McGonagall back. At least not yet.

Hermione didn't even bother to yell at them anymore. It had been a week now that the headmaster had taken over Professor McGonagall's classes. He had informed them that their head of house had the wizard's flu and would be not available for a few weeks and that he would take over her duties during that time. Hermione had believed him for a few days, but a growing feeling in her heart told her that something was just not right. It was time to find out.

"Professor Dumbledore, could I talk to you for a moment please?" she asked as she made her way to through the deserted classroom towards his desk.

"Ah, Miss Granger. I was wondering when you would come to ask. Let's have this talk in my office, shall we?"

Without waiting for her answer he turned and lead to his office. He gestured her to sit and handed her a mug of hot chocolate. "What can I do for you?"

Hermione would have liked to say 'you know very well why I am here' but instead settled for a "Thank you, sir. I was wondering if you could tell me what happened to Professor McGonagall. She doesn't have the wizards' flu, does she?"

As much as he had expected her question he didn't think she would ask that soon. He was torn between telling her the truth and keeping it secret. Minerva wouldn't want any of her students to know, but then again, she seemed very fond of Hermione. He looked into the young woman's concerned eyes and decided that she deserved to be told the truth.

"No Hermione, I am afraid your professor does not have the wizards' flu."

Hermione swallowed when she saw how his worry lines deepened and his voice sounded sad. She felt her eyes tearing. "She is not…is she?" Her voice was nothing more than a whisper.

"No, she is not dead. I am sorry for giving you that impression. She is alive and she is indeed in the castle."

"May I ask what happened?" she asked in a shaky voice.

"She is not well, Hermione. She was on a mission for the order and was caught by death eaters. She managed to escape, but she suffers from the combination of a few serious and painful curses."

"I'd like to see her, please."

"I don't think that is a good idea, Hermione. She needs to rest. Madam Pomfrey tends to her and is keeping her free of pain, but she is very weak and can barely move. And she won't talk."

"What do you mean 'she won't talk', sir? Is she not able to talk?"

"No, she would be able to talk, but she refuses to. In the night of her escape she told me what I had to know, but since then she doesn't speak a word."

"Please sir, let me see her," Hermione pleaded.

The headmaster was about to say no, but when he saw tears rolling down his young student's cheek, he didn't have the heart to refuse her. "Very well, Miss Granger. But only for a moment."

"Thank you, professor. Thank you so much." Hermione wiped her tears and stood.

On their way to professor McGonagall's quarters she walked a little closer to the old man than she normally would have, but even though he looked defeated himself, he always had this aura of comfort around him. Sensing the girl's distress he placed his arm around her shoulder and drew her a little closer. "Are you ready Hermione?"

He saw her nodding and quietly opened the door to Minerva's bedroom.

No matter how much Hermione thought she was ready, she was not prepared to see her beloved professor like this. To tell the truth, the woman lying there in bed was nothing more than a shadow of what Minerva McGonagall had been just a week ago. Although someone, presuming Madam Pomfrey, had dressed her in a nice nightgown and braided her hair, this body was only a lifeless shell. She was pale as a ghost, her face looked hollow and her once so expressive eyes stared dull out of window on her left without seeing anything. She gave not the slightest sign that she even knew where or who she was, let alone recognise that someone entered the room.

"Minerva my dear, you have a visitor. Miss Granger has come to see you." His voice was soft and gentle and Hermione recognised it as the voice he used when he was comforting a homesick student.

The old man squeezed Hermione's shoulders as if to encourage her to say something and comfort her at the same time.

"Hello Professor. I came to see how you are doing and to wish you a speedy recovery. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I miss you. We all miss you." The young girl fought her tears, seeing that her professor reacted to nothing. There was not the slightest hint that she even heard that she was spoken to.

Hermione heard the headmaster beside her sigh heavily and looked up to him. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but failed miserably. "Come my dear, we better let her rest now," he said, slowly steering her out of the room.

--

"Are you all right, Hermione?" the old man asked softly?

Hermione started nodding, but then shook her head no. Was she all right? How could she be when her mentor suffered like this?

Albus Dumbledore understood only too well how the young girl was feeling. "I know my dear. I know."

"Will she ever be ok? She looked so lost, so lifeless." Hermione sounded hopeful and desperate at the same time, exactly how she felt right now.

"Yes Hermione, but we need to give her time to regain her strength. I don't know how long it will take, but your professor is the strongest woman I know. Once she gets her will to live back, she should recover very quickly." He sounded more confident than he really was. It was true, the weakness would leave in one or two weeks, but never before had he seen Minerva give up like this.

* * *

_As always a special thanks to my beta!! And before you ask, yes, I'm going to update Cold as soon as I figured out what to do with it.  
_


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione didn't sleep well that night, the vision of that lifeless woman haunting her dreams.

When the morning came the young woman had made her decision.

It was early in the afternoon when Hermione took a couple of deep breaths and whispered the password she heard Professor Dumbledore say just the night before. She felt like breaking in, and in a way she was. But as it was too late now to doubt her decision she slowly and carefully opened the door to Minerva McGonagall's bedroom. She stood there quietly for a little while, hoping that the woman would react in some way, even if it was only to tell her off for invading her privacy. But the pale woman just lay there, staring out of the window like she had done yesterday. Hermione had serious doubts that she had moved at all during the night. Sighing audibly she stepped further into the room.

"Hello Professor, it's Hermione. I know you don't feel like talking, but I assume it is not pleasant at all, lying here all day. I thought I could keep you company. I don't expect anything from you and I certainly do not expect you to talk with me, but I just want to be here."

There was no change in Minerva McGonagall's behaviour. Not that Hermione had expected a reaction, but still. The young woman silently walked to the left side of her professor's bed and pulled a chair to sit beside it. She placed herself on the side of the bed where she would not block the older woman's view to the window. She wouldn't push. If her professor wanted to look at her she would without being forced to.

"I brought a book, Professor. I don't know what your favourite is and as you can't tell me, I picked a book my grandmother always read to me when I was ill. It is called "Momo."

Hermione didn't really know why she chose this book, because it was written for children originally and definitely not what her professor or she would read under normal circumstances. But it was a good read and held a glimpse of wisdom.

And the motionless figure on the bed reminded her that this was no normal circumstance.

Getting comfortable on the armchair she began to read. She hadn't touched this book in a long time and found herself enjoying reading it to her mentor.

It was a good while after she began reading that Hermione subconsciously placed her hand on the older woman's hand. She was a bit startled at first, because she had meant to rest her arm on the bed not touching her professor, but the other woman didn't react at all to it, so she didn't remove it. Her hand felt quite cold and even if she couldn't accomplish anything else, she could at the very least warm her mentor's hand.

After three hours of reading the small pendulum clock on the wall reminded the young witch that it was time for dinner.

"I'm sorry professor, but it is time for me to go now." She closed the book and gently squeezed the hand she was till holding. "I promise to be back tomorrow, though. Good night"

--

That was how Hermione's next week proceeded. She secretly snuck into her professor's room, covered her cold hand with her own warm one and read until it was time for dinner. Sometimes she told her the newest stories of Ron and Harry or what else was had happened in the castle. Not once did the older witch react in any way. Other people would have been frustrated maybe. But she was not. Minerva McGonagall had always been an extraordinarily strong woman and Hermione knew she would pull through this. She didn't know when, but it didn't matter anymore. She would give her mentor all the time she needed.

It was the first day of the following week that brought a change.

"Hello Professor," Hermione greeted a little breathless. "I'm sorry I am a bit late, but Neville managed to transfigure his hand into a turtle! I didn't even know that was possible! So I had to help him out, but I am here now."

The young woman seated herself in her usual armchair and began to read. Her mind was still a little occupied with Neville's small accident and she neglected to warm the others woman's hand and placed it on the bed beside the hand she normally covered. Their hands were very close, but didn't touch.

It must have been an hour later when Hermione suddenly felt the slightest contact on her pinkie. It was barely noticeable, but it was there. The young witch looked up and saw that her professor had moved her hand a tiny bit to touch her. Of course it was only a very small distance between their hands to begin with, but Hermione knew it was a huge move for the older woman. She still wouldn't look at the girl, but the little touch filled Hermione with a happiness that she felt she might cry any moment. Smiling brightly, she took her mentors hand in hers, gave it a gentle squeeze, and started to caress it with her thumb almost tenderly. "I am here, Professor. I'm here" she whispered softly and it was as if she other woman nodded her head. Of course it was only a tiny move again, and Hermione wasn't even sure if it was true or just wishful thinking.

--

The young woman left her professor's quarters with a smile on her face. She was just about to close the door when the headmaster stood right in the doorway she just left. Hermione was so shocked she started shaking.

"Professor, but …this is impossible! I mean…I…I just left…where are you coming from…what…"

Professor Dumbledore couldn't help but chuckle at the girl's reaction "Now now my dear, I don't need a cloak to be invisible. I quite enjoy the book you are reading."

"You have been there all the time?" Hermione asked, bewilderment obvious in her voice.

"Not every day, but often enough. Come with me, Hermione. I feel it is time for another mug of hot chocolate," he invited her kindly.

They waked in silence until the headmaster lead his student to a small sitting area and handed her a mug of hot chocolate and Hermione remembered the last time she had been in his office.

The old man watched her quietly, obviously waiting for her to say something.

"I'm sorry, Professor. I know I should have asked you for permission." The girl couldn't even remember the last time she felt so guilty.

"Why didn't you come to me, Hermione?" His voice didn't hold the slightest tone of reproachfulness. It was kind and gentle as ever, though a little curious.

"I thought about it. But I knew I wanted to visit her so badly that I had to. If I had asked you and you would have said 'no' I would have acted against your direct order and I wanted to avoid that. I know that's cheating. I'm sorry." Her voice was no more than a whisper, and she didn't dare look him in the eyes.

Smiling to himself, he leaned forward and rested his hand on her shoulder for a moment. "Yes, Miss Granger, that was cheating, but very nice cheating. I can't see how reading to her would do any harm, and I couldn't be mad at you even if I wanted to after what you accomplished today. It was the first time since your Professor's return that she sought human contact, Hermione. You achieved more than anybody else today."

The young woman blushed at such a high praise, utterly relieved that she didn't disappoint her headmaster. "Does that mean I am allowed to carry on seeing her?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes, Hermione. But I would prefer if we could keep it a secret to Poppy. She would have my head if she knew I was allowing you to visit her patient." The old man winked at his co-conspirator, making her laugh.

"No problem sir. I will be very discreet. Do you think I could spend more time in her room? I don't mean reading, just being there. Studying or reading for myself. It doesn't feel right to leave her alone all day, and I promise I won't disturb her."

He looked very thoughtful for a moment. "I know you won't, Hermione. And you are free to spend as much time with her as you want, as long as your studies show none of the effect. Fawkes will give you a warning when Poppy is heading for Minerva's quarters and give you enough time to leave unnoticed. That is usually half an hour before the meals."

Hermione's eyes shone with gratitude when she heard this. "Thank you so much, Professor!"

"I thank you, my dear. Maybe you are better medicine for her than I had hoped." Seeing her uncertain expression on her face he asked "Is there anything else on you mind, child?"

"Oh well…yes…I mean, can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything, Hermione. The decision if I can answer your question lies still with me, I am afraid."

"Why does she have no visitors? I always expected to be caught by another professor visiting her, but no one ever came in. I thought her friends would be with her as often as possible. Ron and Harry would. I know now that you visited her, but why nobody else?"

There was a sudden sadness in his eyes that made Hermione wish she hadn't asked. "Ah well my dear, you see, she had visitors during the first week, but as you have noticed, your Professor doesn't talk. She didn't respond to anything and so her visitors stopped seeing her after a while. They were too uncomfortable around her I think."

Hermione was furious. "But that is outrageous! How can her friends abandon her in a time when she most needs them?! Being uncomfortable is really no excuse to do this to a friend."

"I know, child. But not everyone is lucky enough to have friends like you do and most of the people don't have a friend like you are. An unconditional friendship is something very, very precious and needs to be treasured, Hermione. Never forget that."

The young woman knew their discussion was over now and stood to leave. "I won't, Professor. I promise. Good night."

"Good night, my dear child."

* * *

_Thank you to my wonderful beta and all of you who left a review!! Thank you very much!!_


	3. Chapter 3

And so another few days went by with Hermione spending all of her free time in her Professors quarters, reading to her or studying. On a good day, Hermione would wait for her Professor to make contact; on others the young woman held the cold hand right from the beginning, knowing when she needed to make the first step. She had become an expert on reading her mentor by taking in every tiny movement, every flash of the older woman's eyes. Up until now Minerva never looked at her, nor was she sitting up. Hermione knew that she was still too weak to manage sitting up on her own, but obviously nobody dared to help her. Sometimes she was lying in a slightly different position, probably moved by Madame Pomfrey, but that was all.

Today was not a day when Minerva would reach out to Hermione.

"Professor, I think that was enough reading for today," she said as she shut the book. "Not long and we'll have it finished. I really hope you enjoy it a little bit."

Seeing no reaction from her mentor, she reached for the half written essay she needed to hand in next week. "I'm going to finish my homework for Potions now. I really don't want to give Professor Snape a reason to take points for poorly written essays."

Giving the older witch's hand a slight squeeze, she let go and started writing.

She was about to write the last sentence, when her professor started coughing violently. Hermione saw her struggling for breath and the look of pure panic when she couldn't get air.

"Professor!!"

Hermione thought and reacted so fast that in an afterthought it surprised even her. Knowing that the older woman wouldn't be able to hold her head because of her weakness, Hermione couldn't just pull her up by taking her arms. Instead she sat on the edge of the bed and leaned down until her upper body touched her mentor's and wrapped one arm around her back, with the other hand supporting the older woman's head and held her close to her own body. Then slowly she pulled the still panicking, coughing woman up with her, feeling her slack against her in the sitting position. When her professor was heavily leaning against her, the young woman made sure her mentor's head was resting safely on her shoulder. She moved her hand from the back of Minerva's head to her back, drawing soothing circles, while her other arm was still wrapped around her mentors back, holding her securely and supporting her.

"Shhh..it's all right. Deep breaths Professor. Shhh…breathe with me. That's it. You're doing fine." Hermione whispered soothingly into the older woman's ear. She didn't know if it helped, or the calming rub she gave her mentor's back, but the fit of coughing slowly ceased and she felt the other woman breathing almost normal against her.

"It's over, Professor. It's over. Do you want me to lie you back down?" Hermione didn't really want to let go, feeling strangely comforted by the slow breathing she felt against her, but she would do whatever the older woman wanted.

She was more than surprised when she felt her professor slightly shaking her head no, though she tried not to let is show in her voice. "All right, Professor. We just stay like that for a while. That's fine." She reassuringly tightened her grip around the older witch.

My God, the woman was nothing more than bones and skin anymore. No wonder she was weak. Hermione wondered how the mediwitch was making her eat. Whatever she did, it certainly didn't look as if it was working properly.

She stopped her train of thought when she felt her shirt begin to become damp. Hermione tilted her head slightly to look at her professor, who had rested her forehead on her student's shoulder, silent tears running down her cheeks. A huge lump formed in her throat, seeing her strong and stern head of house slowly falling apart on her. Hermione held the crying woman even closer, resting her own cheek on the older witches head. "Shh…I know, I know. You have every right to cry. You've been so strong for all of us. Shh..it's all right, just let go now. I'm here, I won't leave," she whispered, gently rocking the older woman in her arms who was weeping her soul out now. "Shhh…You're going to be fine. It may seem impossible to you now, but I promise you will. Don't give up. I'll be here every step of the way." She kissed the top of her mentors head when she felt the weak but determinate grip of the frail woman on her shirt, her own tears falling now. "I'm here. Don't give up. Please"

Hermione didn't know how long she sat there rocking the crying woman, letting her weep on her shoulder and allowing her frail mentor to lean against her for support and the sort of strength and comfort Hermione was not sure she could give, but trying all the same. After what felt like hours, the older woman calmed down and nodded her head slightly to indicate that she was now ready to lie down.

"All right, professor. I'm helping you lie down now. We will do it the same way I helped you up. Try to hold on to me." Hermione felt a weak grip on her back, tightened her own hold and brought one hand up to support her professor's head. She slowly and carefully bent down until the older witch was lying safely in her bed. Up until now, Hermione had never noticed how long Minerva's hair really was.

She smiled reassuringly at the utterly exhausted woman and warmly tucked the blanket around her. "Rest now professor. I know you are tired."

She turned to gather her things when the old witch reached for her hand, holding it as tight as she could. Hermione sat back down on the bed. "Would you like me to stay with you tonight?" she asked softly.

Minerva closed her red eyes and nodded shyly, as if expecting to be left alone no matter what.

"Of course I stay professor. I don't mind at all." Hermione drew her chair nearer and conjured a blanket. She got up and without thinking placed a gentle kiss on the older woman's forehead, then got comfortable in her chair, never letting go of her mentor's hand.

Minerva fell asleep almost immediately to soft caresses on her hand.


	4. Chapter 4

The soft light of the first morning sun woke Hermione up very early

The soft light of the first morning sun woke Hermione up very early. She needed a moment to remember where she was, but feeling warm skin under her hand, it all came back to her. The tears and the panic, the comfort and the closeness. She didn't have time to think yesterday, she just reacted, hoping to be able to soothe the older woman. And it worked. She didn't know how or why, but in the end her mentor was calm enough, or exhausted enough to sleep.

Hermione looked at their joined hands and felt tears running down her cheeks. She didn't think yesterday's events would have such an effect on her, but they obviously had. She could still see the panic and pain on the older witch's face when she closed her eyes. Hermione rested her head in her hands and cried silent tears for the woman she felt so close to and wasn't able to help.

She didn't know how long it was, but it must have been quite a while before she felt a light touch on her arm. Looking up she saw her professor looking at her, concern in her eyes. It was the first time Minerva McGonagall had looked someone in the eyes since she had been back in the castle, and Hermione suddenly felt how much she missed the simple eye contact with the older woman, who was now softly tugging at her arm. The young woman gave Minerva what she wanted and allowed her mentor to capture her hand and caress it gently. Hermione brushed her tears away with her other hand and managed a small smile.

"Good morning, Professor," she said, her voice hoarse from crying.

She didn't really expect a reply, but the older woman stopped stroking her hand for a second and then nodded her head slightly in respond.

They stayed in silence for a while, enjoying each others company, when Minerva started to shift uncomfortably.

"You look a bit uncomfortable, professor. Would you like me get a few pillows to support your back and help you sit up a bit?" Hermione asked softly

Seeing the older woman nod, she reached for her wand, conjured a few pillows and sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't need to give instructions this time, because when she bent down, she felt her mentor's hands on her back. Pulling the older witch up was much easier this time. It seemed like a little more life had come back to the older woman since the night before. She was still weak, but she didn't need Hermione's supporting hand on her head this time and she was easier to lift, because she worked with the young girl today.

They sat pretty much in the same position as yesterday when Hermione arranged the pillows, one arm around her mentor, holding her close to her. Having finished her task, the young woman sensed that her professor was not ready to let go yet and started rubbing her mentor's tense back. She tried to massage all the little knots away she was feeling as best as she could from her position, and it seemed that the older woman enjoyed her gentle treatment.

When she felt her professor nod against her, Hermione carefully helped her laying back against the pillows, into a half sitting position. She moved the pillows a bit to make sure the older woman was resting comfortably and turned to sit back in her chair. She gasped when she saw the bright red-golden phoenix feather lying on her armchair.

"Professor, I must go. Somebody is on the way to see you, and I need to leave. I will come back later!" There was a slight note of panic in her voice.

Hermione had gathered her things and was just about to run for the door when Madam Pomfrey entered the room, followed by Madam Hooch. Hermione froze on the spot when she saw the outraged expression on the medi witch's face.

"Miss Granger!! What are you doing here?!" She practically yelled at the girl.

"I'm…I… visiting Professor McGona…"

She wasn't able to finish her explanation as the furious woman cut her off. "A student in her professor's private bedroom! Who do you think you are?! Interfering with my patients! Sitting her up, when she needs rest!! No wonder she doesn't get better when students are going in and out as they please! Do you really think she would enjoy your visit and allowing you to see her like this?! I don't think so!"

Now Madame Hooch, who never really seemed to like Hermione joined in the shouting. "She was always very full of herself, Poppy! And can't hold herself up on a broom either…"

It was in that moment that Hermione came out of her shock, hot tears streaming down her face. She tried to run for the door, but her shaking legs gave way and she fell hard on the floor after only a few steps.

The medi witcth was just about to start another round of yelling, not showing any sign of helping the girl up, when Hermione heard the sound of the voice she had missed so much over the last few weeks.

"Hermione," Minerva McGonagall's voice was soft and full of concern, looking at her young charge weeping on the floor.

At once the medi witch and Madame Hooch were at her side, fussing around her "Minerva! You're speaking! Finally…you gave us quite a scare behaving like that…"

She was cut of by Minerva "Don't touch me! How dare you! How dare you to talk to Miss Granger like that!" She pushed the other woman's hands away as if they were poisoned, cold fury in her eyes and voice. Hermione had never seen her like this.

The medi witch turned to Hermione and said "Go now. We need to give her something to calm her down."

"How dare you send her away?! She has every right to stay! SHE was the one person who kept me sane here all the time. She spent every free minute here, talking to me, reading to me, keeping me company. Where were you? Where were all of you, all of my so called friends, when I needed you most?!"

"Minerva dear, you wouldn't talk with us. You wouldn't even acknowledge our presence and you needed rest. Drink this now," she spoke to the angry woman as if she were a little child while trying to make her drink a potion.

She was not successful as Minerva shoved it away violently.

"That is all you have to say?! I wouldn't talk to you?!" Minerva suddenly felt very tired. "The truth is that beside Albus none of you could stand the silence and you couldn't bring yourselves to just sit with me. That was all I needed. Someone who cared enough to endure the silence and be with me. Leave now."

"Minerva, you can't…"The medi witch was cut off.

"Get out of here!"

Madame Hooch tried a last "But..."

"Get out!" Minerva had to gather all her strength for that last shout, but it did the trick, as the other woman turned in a huff and headed for the door, muttering "…have a word with Albus about that…"

"Hermione, please come here." She sounded as weary as she felt now.

When the girl stood right beside her bed she reached for her hand in a familiar gesture.

"Hermione, I am tired and do not have much strength left at the moment, but I want to thank you for everything you have done for me. No, don't say anything now, just listen. I am too tired now to tell you everything I want, but for now I want you to know that it was your truly unconditional love that brought me back, and I don't want to lose your friendship. I know it won't be easy, as I am still your teacher, but I couldn't bear to lose the closeness we gained. I want to be there for you and show you the same kind of friendship you showed me. Does that sound acceptable to you?"

The young woman was speechless. She never expected this and all she could say at the moment was "Very much so."

Minerva gave her hand a weak squeeze. "I need to rest now, dear, and your night couldn't have been comfortable on that chair. If you don't mind I'd ask you to help me lie down and if you like you are welcome to join me. The bed is big enough for both of us, I think."

Hermione had the grace to blush slightly when she took the additional pillows away and crawled into the bed beside the older woman. "Are you comfortable?" she asked, not daring to lie closer to her mentor.

"I am, thanks to you. And I don't bite, Hermione." She smiled tiredly at the young woman beside her.

Hermione understood and moved closer, shyly snuggling against the older witch. She sighed contently when she felt a small kiss on her head and a hand on her back. "Sleep well, darling."

"You too." Hermione was astonished that she didn't feel uncomfortable at all laying here with her new friend and sighed contently, cuddling a little closer and drifting off to sleep.

Minerva McGonagall knew that the road to her full recovery was long and full of bumps.

Minerva McGonagall knew that every road seemed shorter with a friend like Hermione by her side.

The End


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